Leonardo Barca - New Member

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Leonardo Barca
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Leonardo Barca - New Member

Nový příspěvek od Leonardo Barca » sobota 28. 9. 2019, 22:15:30

Hello everyone,

My name it's Leonardo Barca. I'm also active on VirPed (Virtuous Pedophiles) with the same name. I did some research on the Internet and found also this website that was helping people with the same issues. My first language it's Italian but I do have a very high knowledge of English (which is my second language). I do also know a little bit of German and French. I would like to Introduce myself since I'm a new member. Well my story is very long so I would try my best to summarize the important things I would like to share with you. I also hope that I can be able to read other members stories; but I hope I can find other people who do write in English because language barrier is a very huge problem. Well here it goes:

MY CLINICAL STORY

I'm a 23 years old male that also suffer from "Pedophilia" since I'm sexually attracted to young boys from 3 to 18 years old. I don't find babies attractive so I'm not sexually attracted to boys under 3. My preference are young boys between 4 and 7 years old. I'm also attracted to teenagers and also to young adults men. So I can be considered also as an homosexual because I do like only males. I find also adult men attractive but I like them in a particular way: I like them muscular and shaved. For young boys I found blond ones very attractive. I also like to see photos of myself of when I was 7 years old (especially some photos where I was a naked young boy). I like to see myself as a child and seeing that 7 years old boy (that was me in the past) makes me feel so excited and happy. I am so also attracted to photos of when I was a young boy.

I had this homosexuality and "pedophilia" since I was little (maybe when I was around 7 years old). I do remember for example that at the 3rd year of Elementary School I was excited to see other nude boys in the showers. I was followed by psychologists since I was 3 years old because I had strange behaviors similar to autism. I then was followed by psychologist at the age of 12 and then I started a long therapy of psychotherapy that last more than 10 years. I did psychotherapy from 2008 to 2017. I was also followed by a psychiatrist in 2013.

In 2019, after many effords to find the right person to fight this pedophilia, I found a woman doctor which works as a neurologist. With her help on January 2019 I did a magnetic resonance brain scan (fMRI) in the hospital of the town where I live and there were some results and clues that may causes my attractions. It happears that my brain has a reduction of white substance (50% on the left side of the brain and 98% on the right side). There's also a reduction of grey matter that's is 70% instead of 100%. But the thing that was pathological was the asimmetry of the brain and so the reduction of white substance: the volume of white substance was pathological because the neurologist compared my brain volume with some statistics made at the Martinos Center Of Boston. I also wanted to take part to a genetic exam but it seems that at the moment doesn't exists a genetic exam that deteterminates pedophilia. But I'm truly convinced that there's something biological! I'm only 23 years old and sometimes I feel very old like I have only a few days left to live. I suffer a lot for this attraction.
I wish I could change my brain!

This was about my clinical history. For my ethical and juridical story here some more informations:

WARNING before reading this story: it has NOTHING illegal that is described!

19 MARCH 2019

The police in my town is already aware of my pedophilia because I denounced myself. I had one night that I was so paranoid because I had the fear that someone could steal my computer or my photos. I was so scared that I bought a safer. But I wasn't feeling secure enough so I wanted to install a new door made of metal (security door). But since the owner of my house was my grandmother from the mother side I had to ask her permission to install a new door for my room. She didn't give me the permissiom so I litterally became crazy. I had a terrible crisis: I took some eggs and threw them to my grandmother's door house. Then I took a pot of cold water and threw it down the stairs. At the end I ran away from home with a knife in my hands. I then called an ambulance telling them that I wanted to commit suicide with the knife I had in my hands. When the ambulance arrived the nurses couldn't come closer because I wasn't putting down the knife. So the ambulance called the police. The police asked me kindly to put down the knife: so I did.

Then the police officers asked me why I wanted to commit suicide. I then wrote on a piece of paper that I was sexually attracted to young boys. The police got scared and thought immediately that I was looking at illegal photos on the Internet. The police went immediately in my house into my room and took me away every electronic device: iPhone, computer and my photo album with photos of nude children. I was terrified because I wasn't sure at the 100% if all photos were legal. Even though in my past life I have always been careful on the Internet and every time I found photos on Google Images that for me were suspect or illegal the first thing I did it was to contact on email the informatic police asking them if a photo was legal or illegal. I reported a lot of photos found on Google Images that for me were suspect but the police always answered me that every photo was LEGAL. That night I was terrified and thought I could go to prison. I was shouting and screaming like hell. The ambulance took me at the hospital in the emergency room. I was so angry that I took a bottle of water and threw it on myself, then I took off my clothes remaining in underwear. I then had the intention to destroy a computer of the hospital and a security man told me that if I didn't calm down they could tie me up on a bed.

A police officer tried to calm me down and with him we looked at my photo album together. This officer was very surprised that on the first page of the album I wrote that every photo in the album wasn't illegal because I contacted the informatic police asking them if every photo was legal. And on the second page there was a scientific article named "Un gene alterato scatena la pedofilia" from "La Stampa". This article is about a neurologist (Lorenzo Pinessi) from Italy in Turin that might have found an altered gene (the progranulin gene / PGRN) that causes etherosexual pedophilia. The police officer reading that article told me that for his point of view I wasn't a pedophile like I wasn't at all a dangerous person. Maybe the definition for "pedophilia' means that someone has abused a child or looks at child pornography. But since I NEVER abused a child and NEVER look at child porn maybe I can't be defined as a pedophile. It was really nice to hear these words from a police officer. Returning to that night: some hours later they took me to a mental hospital where I did other crisis: I was shouting and spitting to the doctors and I run away with a knife in my hands. After some days I got back home but returned to the mental clinic again because I was feeling terrible. One day my mother called me on the new phone telling me that the police checked every photo on my iPhone, on my computer and on my photo album and they did NOT found ANYTHING illegal. My mother went to the police station and got my photos back: it was a relief.

Some pictures were a bit at the limit: some photos were at the border that separates legality from illegality. But fortunately EVERY photo was under the line of LEGALITY! SO EVERY PHOTO WAS LEGAL! I did 2 weeks in the clinic and they diagnosed me an OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). I hope this story can help you to understand that even If I have this attraction I ALWAYS controlled myself and NEVER had intentions to hurt a child. I remember for example a winter holiday night when I was 17 years old: I was sitting on a sofa reading a book in an hotel. A 4 years old small young boy sat on the sofa near me. This boy was very close to me, but at the end I didn't do ANYTHING to him: I did NOT touched him, did NOT looked at him sexually, and did NOT talked to him. I ignored the boy paying attention on the book I was reading. So also in the real world I'm able to control myself. So I do NOT think AT ALL that I'm a dangerous person because I am AWARE that doing something to a child it's something disgusting and immoral. Also looking at child porn it's something disgusting that I will NEVER have the intention to do! I don't want to destroy a child's life: it's the worst crime on earth !!!!!

Thanks for your patient to read my story!

Leonardo
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Re: Leonardo Barca - New Member

Nový příspěvek od Filip » sobota 28. 9. 2019, 23:15:01

Hi Leonardo Barca and welcome to Čepek. Are you active on any other bl site, or only on virped? :)
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Re: Leonardo Barca - New Member

Nový příspěvek od Leonardo Barca » sobota 28. 9. 2019, 23:16:53

Filip píše:
sobota 28. 9. 2019, 23:15:01
Hi Leonardo Barca and welcome to Čepek. Are you active on any other bl site, or only on virped? :)
Only on VirPed!
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Re: Leonardo Barca - New Member

Nový příspěvek od Filip » sobota 28. 9. 2019, 23:21:33

I'm on boymoment. :)
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Re: Leonardo Barca - New Member

Nový příspěvek od Leonardo Barca » sobota 28. 9. 2019, 23:31:46

Filip píše:
sobota 28. 9. 2019, 23:21:33
I'm on boymoment. :)
Never heard of boymoment; is it like VirPed?
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Re: Leonardo Barca - New Member

Nový příspěvek od pbd » neděle 29. 9. 2019, 9:46:35

Hi Leonardo,

welcome to the forums. I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling with acceptance of your preferences. But it can change. I've come from viewing pedophilia (as a sexual preference, not child sexual abuse as it is sometimes wrongly used) to be completely normal, to be just unacceptable for me and back to the acceptance of the fact that I'm attracted to little girls. It helped me to hear from other pedophiles from this community who do not harm children and live a happy life.

Don't hesitate to write if there is some question on your mind or you just need to express some thoughts or feelings. I hope you find here a helpful and understanding community.
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Re: Leonardo Barca - New Member

Nový příspěvek od Fx100d » neděle 29. 9. 2019, 11:14:41

Hi Leonardo, welcome to Čepek.
Pedofilie mi něco vzala, ale mnohem více dala. To, co mi vzala, bez toho se obejdu. To, co mi dala, už bych nikdy nechtěl ztratit.
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Re: Leonardo Barca - New Member

Nový příspěvek od Leonardo Barca » neděle 29. 9. 2019, 11:40:29

Here's another story I would like to publish. It's a very long story that I've also shared on VirPed.

It's a deep story of my past of 2017 where I had other problems with the police (so, before judging, the story has to be read fully to be understood). This story does NOT describe illegal actions that are unknown to the police; on the contrary it describes something that happened with the police which I was sentenced and punished with a fine of 1500 dollars. Hope I can publish it. Here it goes:

MY SAD STORY OF 2017

"It wasn't the first time that the police came to my house. As I wrote before the police came this year (2019) during a night where I had a mental crisis where I had a knife in my hands. I first called the ambulance but the nurses called the police because I had this knife in my hands. And if you read my post the situation of that night just got worse. But fortunately the police didn't found ANYTHING illegal on my electronic devices."

What I wanted to share with you it's now another VERY SAD story about my past. It all started in 2016 when I started to collect inappropriate japanese manga cartoons found on Google Images. As I said in the other post I NEVER searched for real child pornography, but at that time I didn't know that also a fictional cartoon or a drawing could be illegal. So in 2016 I collected an album with these japanese mangas. I started my 3rd year of high school with an open mind and focusing a lot my mind on my studies reading a lot of books and going to see movies with culture. In the summer of 2016 I read so many books that I also stayed all night finishing them very quickly. I am very proud of myself when I was able to read all the "Inferno" from Dante Alighieri. I read all the part of Dante's finding himself in hell. It was a nice story because for every sin there was a terrible punishment. Sometimes I wondered to myself: do NON offending pedophiles go to hell and which torture do they get?

But I think it is NOT very fair because we did NOT choose to be sexually attracted to children: so why should we be punished in hell if it is a mental and biological illness that we didn't choose to have?

Returning to my history: I did a summer in 2016 spending time with many intellectual things like drawing, taking photographs, and going to museums. I was feeling a real adult and I thought to myself that my pedophilia would have vanished immediately: but I was wrong. During the first days of school I started to feel sick. I was really depressed and I had these obsessive thoughts about those manga cartoons. In the month of October 2016 I went with my class at Urbino, a countryside of Italy. At Urbino we went to visit many cultural places with a lot of history of painting of the Renaissance period. I also saw the famous painting of a naked woman called "Venere di Urbino" from a famous artist called Tiziano Vecellio. When I saw that picture of the naked woman I was VERY angry with myself because I wasn't sexually attracted to her. I was furious with myself because I still had my pedophilia and I wanted immediately to become a "normal" etherosexual attracted only to adult women. I so started to repress my pedophilia and also my homosexuality. In the showers with other men I was trying really hard to repress my attraction and erections.

So during my art school trip at Urbino I was only focused on sexual thoughts. One night at Urbino I did a crisis and threw a chair outside the window. And I also started to tell my classmates my pedophilia. After the week at Urbino I had the intention to go home and buy 100 capsules of caffeine for coffee because I wanted to kill myself drinking like 100 cups hoping that after I was dead I could be reanimated into an etherosexual. So I skipped school buying like 150 capsules of caffeine. My father caught me with 15 bottles of coffee and he stopped me to drink them. My dad asked me very angrily: <Do you have thoughts of f**king kids?: are you out of your mind? Have you the intention to abuse a child?>. My father was very preoccupied. The months of October and November 2016 were terrible. I skipped to many lessons because I was spending time collecting mangas and masturbating 10 times a day. One day I really wanted to GET RID of my pedophilia and I was watching my photos trying to NOT be attracted to. At a certain point it seemed to work but then an accident happened: I was spending time on Facebook searching something funny that could distract me from my obsessions. I then accidentally stumbled on a post of a photo of a school class with children. One of this children I recognised him immediately. It was a boy that went to the same Elementary School I went to.

So now the boy in the photo has my age. The photo was probably taken in 2007. In 2007 I was at least 11 years old and that boy was probably 7 or 8 years old. I wasn't in his same class but we where in the same school. I don't have many memories about this boy except for one day on the summer of 2007. During the summer of August 2007 I did a sailing boat course of one week in the lake where I live. I was 11 and I had the chance to go on a small boat just me with this boy that was also present at the course. I remember this boy not only because he went to the same school I went to, but also because we had a day where we were together on the same small sailing boat. I was already at that age sexually attracted to this boy. I admired his courage to put the boat upside down: we had to catapult the boat to then put it back in its right position. I have a very intense and obsessive memory of this boy coming out of the water all wet that at the end I was really in love with him. So when in 2016 I saw that old photo of 2007 from that boy I remembered the day I was on a boat just me and him in the past summer of August 2007. I asked my brother (he's 20 years old) what was the name of this boy. My brother answered me: <Oh yes, I remember him, it's Leonardo ********>. So I was so obsessed with this Leonardo that I wanted to search him on Facebook to check how was his physical appearance as an adult because in 2016 he would have be maybe 17 or 19 years old. In 2016 I was 20 and Leonardo could have been 17 or 19. I don't know.

Unfortunately when I found Leonardo on Facebook I read his informations which said that he was etherosexual. However even if he was not gay I didn't like him physically anyways. I didn't like Leonardo as an adult: I wasn't attracted sexually to him as an adult. For me the only Leonardo I loved was that boy I met in the summer of 2007. I became so obsessed with this photo of Leonardo as a child that I also had sexual dreams. In my fantasies I was imaging myself as a boy having a sexual relation with Leonardo as a boy. So in my fantasies we were both kids and consentient. We loved each other like two gays adult men. On the photo on Facebook Leonardo was smiling in a very cute way: closing his eyes, with his protruding ears, with his relaxed hands on the ground of the stairs. He was wearing a nice red T-Shirt that was in tune with his red skin color on his cheeks. I loved him so much. I developped a very pathological nostalgia of my childhood: I didn't want fo grow up anymore, I wanted to return a boy like Peter Pan. I wanted my Leonardo back. I wanted my childhood back. Adulthood was horrible for me, I thought I never liked adulthood since I always had an obsessive nostalgia of my childhood. I was so obsessed with my pedophilia that I lost control of myself and I started to tell almost every person in my town my problem. At school I told a lot of teachers my problem showing them also my photo album with manga cartoons. No teacher denounced me and neither thought that these cartoons were illegal. I also told to all my family my problem: then my friends, my schoolmates and other strangers.

On November 2016 I felt so bad that I also had a discussion with my psychologist. My psychologist thought that I was attracted to boys only because I envy them because I don't like me as an adult (meaning that I wanted to be a child again) and because I have a fear of growing up. But I didn't believe his theories anymore: for me Pedophilia it is NOT something psychological but it's something biological which people are born with it. I was so angry with my psychologist that the day after have spoken with him I went to his studio and threw a brick against the door made of glass. Days after I then turned back to my psychologist: he wasn't angry with me, he said: <Don't worry: it's part of the therapy!>. It wasn't the first crisis I did between October and November 2016: I did many other crisis throwing plates, knives, spoons and so on outside the window. I destroyed two times the kitchen because I was frustrated that I could NOT erase this pedophilia. So on December 2016 I went for a month in a mental hospital for my first time in my entire life. I showed to the psychiatrists of the clinic my photo album with the manga cartoons and ALSO them did NOT denounced me to te police because ALSO them did NOT know that they were illegal. I also showed the doctors my diary I did from that school trip at Urbino. I wrote a diary where two characters were speaking together: one was called Satan and the other Nobody.

I so wrote a story of two symbolic figures: Satan (the sick part of myself) and Nobody (the healthy part of myself). I'll do an example to explain how this diary was written:

I am at the museum of Urbino and I'm looking at the famous painting of Tiziano: "Venere di Urbino":

Nodody: <What a beautiful woman, I like her, I think she's attractive!>.
Satan: <You fool, you aren't attracted to women, you like young boys, you are a fa**ot and only like small coc**. You dirty sicko!>.
Nobody: <Could we please at least enjoy this day at the museum?>.
Satan: <Shut up you pedophile, yeah, continue like that masturbating to kids, muhahahahaha you'll end up in jail and the prisoner will abuse you that you will cry like a baby and that you will be going around spitting blood. They will also beat you up very well because you deserve that>.
Nobody: <But I have never touched a child and I will never have the intention to do it! I'm not a criminal and I don't look at real child porn!>.
Satan: <It doesn't matter: you're a pedophile and you deserve to be beaten up! And you're watching this manga cartoons you sick!>.

So this is an example of my diary where two parts of myself were fighting together. But this does NOT mean that I have schizophrenia like also I do NOT have a double personality. It was just a way to express literally my malaise and depression. After a month In the clinic I went back to school but I left It on February 2017 because I was too ashamed of myself and embarassed to see my teachers and classmates.

Nobody: <It's time to study again, now I have to focus my mind on books!>.
Satan: <Hahaha you poor baby, you lost more than a month skipping school, you'll never pass the year. You'll fail and you'll have to repeat the year.>.
Nobody: <It's better to be positive and work hard to recover the lessons I lost, I have to concentrate and pass this year and get a diploma!>.
Satan: <Hahaha you're making me laugh so hard. You're hilarious. And you told your teachers that you like kids! How can you even expect that your teachers will be respecting you or not looking you like a pervert? If I were you I'll go to the North Pole and hide from society! Poor guy. You are so stupid and irrecoverable!>.
Nobody: <But but I can be cured from pedophilia, my teachers understood that I was sick, they don't judge me and they don't look me like a pervert or like a dangerous person! I'm not a criminal!>.
Satan: <I'm not a criminal? Go away! Shoot and kill yourself!>.


I spend the first months of 2017 finding someone who could help me to take part to a genetic exam. I only had one thought in my mind: find the altered gene in the DNA that causes pedophilia. But things got worse because one day it happened a dramatic event that destroyed my life. A girl (I told her my problem) of my school denounced me to a teacher. And this teacher got scared and reported my pedophilia to the school principal, and the principal reported my situation to the police of my town. When I knew that I felt betrayed and so I insulted per SMS that girl telling her that I wanted to kill her. I also insulted my teacher who reported me to the school principal. I was furious. I then called the police station by my spontaneous will (and so NOT against my will) and asked if I could talk with the police inspector that received the report.

Days after the police officer called me and he asked me on the phone if it was true that I was sexually attracted to children. I said yes and asked if I could come to the police station to explain better my situation. One day on the summer of 2017 I went to the police station and I spoke with two inspectors. They asked me many questions and I said I was sorry if I insulted the teacher and the girl from my school. When the interrogation was almost over and when the police officers told me that I could go back home I did a FATAL mistake to show them my photo album with these japanese mangas. The two police officers freaked out and were shocked seeing this drawings. Then they told me that I couldn't go home but that they had to take me away every electronic device: iPhone, computer and photo album. They also called a woman that was a lawyer and together we did a very long interrogation.

The police in my album saw many photos of myself of when I was a boy: there were like 15 photos where I was a naked boy. In one of those photo I was naked in a bed smiling to the camera. The inspector asked me who took me this photo and I answered that it was probably my father. The police officers found also a video of 2001 my father did into an USB card where you could see two small boys playing naked. In that video there was me as a 4 years old boy playing naked with my younger brother of 3 years old. In the video we were both nude and happy and we were playing a child game which one of us pretended to be a knight and the other a horse. So I was on the top of my brother pretending to ride my horse. Then we changed roles and I was the horse and my brother was riding me. The police officers thought that that video of 2001 was child pornography and so they immediately thought my father was a pedophile who abused me. They found that video very disturbing even if it was only an innocent video of two boys playing naked happily. I said "NO" many many times when they (the two police officers and the woman - lawyer) asked me if I was abused: they made a lot of pressure on me and at the end I stopped saying "NO" and I answered their questions with a "I don't remember". When the police officers went into my house they found a picture of my father and my mother I had in my room where I had put some notes that were saying that "My father is gay and that's why he decided to divorce. Nerd!". When the police and the lawyer read the word "gay" they didn't know that it was a stupid and childish joke I did. No: they thought that I wrote that my father is gay because he abused me when I was a child (but it wasn't the truth: I wrote the word "gay" only because I was making a joke).

So the police and the lawyer already decided that I was abused and they didn't let me explain anything. I couldn't express myself because I was feeling terrible, I was scared because I thought I could go to prison and because the police and the lawyer were making a lot of pressure on me. That night they took me to a psychiatric clinic and the police officer told the doctors that I was a pedophile and that I was abused by my father. The following days, weeks and months were a trauma. I couldn't have any kind of contact with my father for 3 months. I also had a violent crisis in the mental clinic that they had to take me by force into a locked room. I was also confronted with the attorney of my town. I was completely scared. The attorney (it was a woman) asked me many question insisting if I was abused by my father and I said NO, but she still didn't believe me. She said that for her I wasn't a pedophile and she asked me why I didn't look at real child pornography. I answered her : <I NEVER had the intention to look at child porn because I don't want to hurt a child. I did NOT know that japanese manga cartoons could be illegal, also my doctors, teachers and family members have seen these comics and even THEM did NOT thought that they were illegal>.

3 months after my father was acquitted from the accusations because the police did NOT discover ANY evidence that indicated that my father abused me and that he could have been a pedophile. So after three months I went to the police station to see my father again. I gave a hug to my father and that day we went together spending time in my town. The day after we went to an italian restaurant and my father started to cry. He said: <How could you have possibly done such horrible thing to me accusing of being a child molester? Do you realize the pain and suffering you gave me?>. He was crying a lot and I didn't say anything, I was only thinking that I was a person worse than Hitler. I thought to myself that I had to die and kill myself. After all my father understood that it wasn't my real intention to accuse him of sexual abuse. But he said that when I was interrogated by the police I should have been more strong and that I should have insisted more that my father didn't do me anything.

After that trauma we received a letter saying that I had to pay a fine of 1500 dollars. I avoided prison because at the end the only things illegal were these cartoons. But there wasn't real child pornography: absolutely NO. If there was real child porn I would be in prison right now and probably I won't be here writing to this forum. This year I have to see the judge and with my new lawyer we could decide to pay the fine or to take part to social jobs to discount the penalty. It is a sad story for many reason, for example:

1. I ruined my reputation.
2. I interrupted my studies and got no diploma.
3. I ruined my dad's life.
4. I only created problems for the reputation of my family.
5. I'm making spending my parents a lot of money for the lawyer.
6. I could never find a job because no employer will hire me because he will know that I have this illness.

I have no words left to describe my story. I have no words left to describe how I had an horrible summer being recovered from 3 months in a mental clinic. I have no words left to describe my sense of being guilty of having accused my father of such thing. I think I don't deserve to live anymore. I only deserve death. The thing I did to my father is so serious and unforgivable that I don't deserve to have a father anymore. I'm not worthy to be his son. I don't deserve anything. I deserve to die like Satan was saying in my mind. I hope that this sad story can help you understand how I lived horrible moments in the last few years thanks to my pedophilia.

Best regards,
Leonardo
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Výkřik do tmy: yeelow (10.05.2010 22:04): njn, ty jsi ten dentální úchyl :D
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Re: Leonardo Barca - New Member

Nový příspěvek od Fx100d » neděle 29. 9. 2019, 12:16:38

Very sad story, it made me cry. :'( You have a very hard life and I'm sorry, but I have no idea how to help. *i_no*
Pedofilie mi něco vzala, ale mnohem více dala. To, co mi vzala, bez toho se obejdu. To, co mi dala, už bych nikdy nechtěl ztratit.
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pbd
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Re: Leonardo Barca - New Member

Nový příspěvek od pbd » neděle 29. 9. 2019, 12:36:12

Have you ever had tested your testosterone levels? The antiandrogens therapy (that lowers your testosterone levels) is certainly not for everyone, but helped me to some degree. For some years my sexual desires were really unbearable, it was just too much, it wasn't pleasant anymore, it was torture. Now I am on Diphereline, which is de-facto chemical castration. The appetence is not null, it can be quite high sometimes, but it is not over the limit. I certainly do not suggest that you or others must take it, I just share my experience, which is indeed ambivalent, mainly because it takes a lot of energy from you.

Also, there is no need to be so hard on yourself. You have a clear conscience, and that is something you can be proud of.
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Leonardo Barca
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Re: Leonardo Barca - New Member

Nový příspěvek od Leonardo Barca » neděle 29. 9. 2019, 13:24:40

pbd píše:
neděle 29. 9. 2019, 12:36:12
Have you ever had tested your testosterone levels? The antiandrogens therapy (that lowers your testosterone levels) is certainly not for everyone, but helped me to some degree. For some years my sexual desires were really unbearable, it was just too much, it wasn't pleasant anymore, it was torture. Now I am on Diphereline, which is de-facto chemical castration. The appetence is not null, it can be quite high sometimes, but it is not over the limit. I certainly do not suggest that you or others must take it, I just share my experience, which is indeed ambivalent, mainly because it takes a lot of energy from you.

Also, there is no need to be so hard on yourself. You have a clear conscience, and that is something you can be proud of.
I did. I did a blood exam to determinate if I had a high level of testosterone. It appears that I don't have hormonal problems.
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Re: Leonardo Barca - New Member

Nový příspěvek od Filip » neděle 29. 9. 2019, 18:21:58

Leonardo Barca píše:
sobota 28. 9. 2019, 23:31:46
Filip píše:
sobota 28. 9. 2019, 23:21:33
I'm on boymoment. :)
Never heard of boymoment; is it like VirPed?
Yes. Something like that. But it's only for boylovers. :)
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Leonardo Barca
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Re: Leonardo Barca - New Member

Nový příspěvek od Leonardo Barca » úterý 1. 10. 2019, 18:40:12

Filip píše:
neděle 29. 9. 2019, 18:21:58
Leonardo Barca píše:
sobota 28. 9. 2019, 23:31:46
Filip píše:
sobota 28. 9. 2019, 23:21:33
I'm on boymoment. :)
Never heard of boymoment; is it like VirPed?
Yes. Something like that. But it's only for boylovers. :)
Can you send me the link of this "boymoment" forum???
Is it allowed to share links?
It would be nice to chat with other boylovers!
;)
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Filip
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Re: Leonardo Barca - New Member

Nový příspěvek od Filip » úterý 1. 10. 2019, 20:09:34

Leonardo Barca píše:
úterý 1. 10. 2019, 18:40:12
Filip píše:
neděle 29. 9. 2019, 18:21:58
Leonardo Barca píše:
sobota 28. 9. 2019, 23:31:46

Never heard of boymoment; is it like VirPed?
Yes. Something like that. But it's only for boylovers. :)
Can you send me the link of this "boymoment" forum???
Is it allowed to share links?
It would be nice to chat with other boylovers!
;)
Yes. It's https://www.boymoment.com/
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Leonardo Barca
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Re: Leonardo Barca - New Member

Nový příspěvek od Leonardo Barca » úterý 1. 10. 2019, 21:14:04

Filip píše:
úterý 1. 10. 2019, 20:09:34
Leonardo Barca píše:
úterý 1. 10. 2019, 18:40:12
Filip píše:
neděle 29. 9. 2019, 18:21:58

Yes. Something like that. But it's only for boylovers. :)
Can you send me the link of this "boymoment" forum???
Is it allowed to share links?
It would be nice to chat with other boylovers!
;)
Yes. It's https://www.boymoment.com/
Thanks! :D
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